About Me

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It's not. About me, I mean. Really!
I avoid labels when possible, but here goes: SWF, 40'ish, 20 year Navy veteran. I have an inner ham and her name is Ms. Piggy.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

She's baaaaack!


My departure from Yahoo360 has seen me expand my presence online again. I think I've posted and commented more these past couple weeks than I have in a year! It's great being back in touch, I had not realized how much 360 was hampering my desire to communicate. The flip side is that my drivel is now afflicting you all again! Just remember you can always tell me "Can it, shmanit, Janet"!


I'm on a Rocky Horror Picture Show bend again lately, immersing myself in the movie and it's details in preparation for using it as part of the entertainment for our local Pride group festivities in September. Columbia will be DJ'ing the dance, and I'm hoping to get enough participation to perhaps do a couple skits from the movie. We'll at least be doing the Time Warp again!


The pic is from last year's Fetish and Fantasy Ball in Las Vegas, myself on the left with some other denizens of the event. Jack was really cool, but his emotions are sorta one dimensional, lol! I'd love to be in a regular troupe doing RHPS, but nothing like that exists here in the boonies, perhaps I can get one started?


Anyhow, my resurgence here is a reflection of my own recent efforts to regain my footing, rediscover myself, find my mojo; whatever you'd like to call it. It comes after a period of time where whoever 'Marie' is has been defined through participation in the more mundane things that supposedly make up a life; work, dating, etc. The spectacular failures that have occurred for me in dating, coupled with the stresses today's economy has put on us all, have made me realize I still have been framing things in some of the same paradigms that I used before transition. It's been leading me away from a trust in pursuing the Way, towards the same cynicism and isolation that plagued me then too; gee, big surprise! See, transition does not cure all your problems ;)


Call it The Way, The Secret, following the Goddess, divine inspiration, whathaveyou. I credit this cosmic flush in my attitude to a figurative smack-upside-the-head I received from my good friend Kim Pearson. I accompanied her while she participated in the filming of a segment for an upcoming National Geographic special regarding gender (details forthcoming in another blog). She is the executive director for Trans Youth Family Allies (http://www.imatyfa.org/), a group that I believe is doing more towards our future than anyone realizes. They need all of our support, so if you can spare anything, PLEASE GIVE!


Kim is one of the most positive people I know, and just a bit of time with her lately has been enough to re-kindle my own spirit. Some chicken-therapy with Lori D, the love and support of the rest of the 'coop, as well as a few other very special people have helped too.


I've not had the chance to ask her for permission to point out her blog, so I will keep the source anonymous. Another lady amongst us has seen the joy that comes from leading a life complete. As further testimony to what can happen when we give of our own self and trust in the bounty that faith can bring, I'll finish this with my response to her:


It's fabulous seeing your progress! I can still recall your setting out; you have really broken some molds :) You are beginning to see what the complete you can really do, unhobbled by leading a false life. You're completion is seeing you gain an aura that others will see and respond to, you only need have faith in yourself for it to show.


Something I began to notice when my own blossoming was going on, is how uncommon this seems to be amongst people in general. I feel we trans-people sometimes think we are the only ones with identity issues and unresolved ambitions; I think the truth is that most people harbor these things to some extent.


So as others here have mentioned, yes we are indeed blessed. Even those who maintain their duality for whatever reason can take heart from realizing we DO enjoy a gift. Who else get's to see life from the variety of perspectives we do?


Society's problems with us can cloud that if we let it; but it really is their problem, we are not the aberration. Tempered with humility and grace towards others, our positive energy is a catalyst to others as well as an unlimited source of strength.


Rock on babe!



4 comments:

  1. I love hearing your words of love, hope, and inspiration. And I look forward to reading every tender morsel you pen here.

    Ba-freaking'cawwwwk, Mama!

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  2. I love how we can all inspire each other. The 4 TCs will always be my sisters through life. And proudly so.

    Ba'Caaaawck!

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  3. Hmmmm, schizophrenics also get to see the world from too many different perspectives as well and after 30 years of eyeballs viewing the world through those color of glasses, I would not use that as a recommendation for schizophrenia being OK. Although to be honest, I would still rather drop the transition part out of my life over the schizophrenia even though I slid into fulltime girl life like a body gently drifting slowly to the bottom of a river. Most of y'all know how challenging transitioning can be, but to get stuck with both is simply another curse upon my soul, or what is left of it at least. Sadly, for an unfortunate few like myself, transition isn't so much about healing as it is just straightening our lives out enough that we drop down to the stress level most girls reach right before they snap and realize that transitioning is the only thing they can possibly do if life is to continue. Just wanted to remind y'all that even though times are sometimes rough, there is a reason you chose this path (and it was a choice even if death was the only other option) and life is better now, especially when you don't have an additional problem that is just as horrible which has no way to be "fixed."

    - Ms. LizzyBeth, the shinigami half-demoness

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  4. Thank you for sharing LizzyBeth, you've nicely amplified a bit of what I was putting across. Life's challenges do not end with gender transition, life itself is transition.
    Goodness knows this existence lends to or amplifies all sorts of problems, not all of which get cured in the course of transition. I do feel that we gain from it, even if it is nothing more than tougher skin from walking across the fire pit.

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