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It's not. About me, I mean. Really!
I avoid labels when possible, but here goes: SWF, 40'ish, 20 year Navy veteran. I have an inner ham and her name is Ms. Piggy.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Are you a syllable hog?

Random Silliness Ahead!
I was looking at names of all my friends here today, and I was struck by the range in syllables for the names we have chosen. Some have really cute, brief names that hardly take up any syllables at all. Now unless she has chosen a middle name like Roseannaroseannadanna (RIP Gilda), then I think Susan Smith, my friend here in town, has the corner on syllable conservation. And then I looked.....at...mine... Uh oh!
Now I always tell people I have an inner ham, and she's Ms. Piggy! So at first I just attributed my syllabloquaciousness (yes, it's a word, if you don't find it you aren't using the right dictionary, just ask Ms. Piggy!), to my natural hamminess. And for the count, it's Marie Julieanne Aponte. Which by the way, has had the rather annoying effect that some people seem to think after I pronounce it without the middle name , that my first name is Maria, and my last name is Pontay. ERRRR!
Then I started to think about the worldwide phenomenon in which the length of names are inversely related to population. In heavily populated Asian countries, for example, we see short, precise names, like Jet Li. In sparsely populated areas like Iceland, we end up with names like Hildur Helga Sigurðardóttir. I swear, it's a real name! No, that one isn't even in Ms. Piggy's dictionary! And no offense to anyone of Icelandic origins, but I can't say it either! Makes my tongue hurt, OWTH!
So now of course I'm curious if we don't have some sort of index, some sort of common experience where we differ in extremes that has some mysterious inverse connection to the length of names we pick?
After much scientific thought, I have what I think is an obvious link. OK, it was only as much thought as it took to finish off the dregs in the bottom of the icecream box in front of me.....
Could it be desired boob size?!
Now, going into my third year of HRT, the girls are a shapely but not exactly statuesque 36A. And more that I think about it, while it might have been nice if mother had blessed me a little more in the gene pool there, I think I'll be happy with them as they are. I like that they're all me ;) Did I compensate with my name by scamming off with all 8 syllables? Where does that leave Susan? Good luck with those honey, but hey, you make it look FABULOUS!
So there you have it, and I'm throwing it out for consideration. Does my theory hold any mammaries or do I need a Wonderbra? Is there some other possible connection? Who has the longest syllable count in their name? Shortest?