About Me

My photo
It's not. About me, I mean. Really!
I avoid labels when possible, but here goes: SWF, 40'ish, 20 year Navy veteran. I have an inner ham and her name is Ms. Piggy.

Friday, July 31, 2009

My pool (or Friends, Love, and Life)

When you come to my pool, I'm just happy you are here. You won't find that I ask much more of you than your company and kindness. I like you just as you are, please feel free to be yourself.

When people leave my pool, even if it's to go be in someone else's pool; it doesn't bother me. You don't take anything from my pool but the experience, and having shared the experience I lose nothing.

Yeah ok, people actually take some of what's in the pool with you when you go. I hope it lasts and keeps you feeling good. I hope you'll come back for more. I'll never forget you were here, and I'll treasure the experience. But more of what my pool needs always comes back. I think the people I know in heaven send it; as it seems to fall from the skies like rain.

My pool is big. Really big! Some people can get in my pool from England.

My pool has a deep end and a shallow end. Some people stay in the shallow end, but we still have a lot of fun.

Some people sit at the edge and that's really great too. Some cannot have the chemicals from the pool on them right now, some are afraid of the water. I don't see them as much, but I'm still glad they are there.

I know I have a nice pool. But I'm still just as insecure as anyone so I'm not always sure anyone wants to enjoy it. I really don't like being alone in my pool though sometimes it's dirty and I need to be alone to clean it; but I know it's safe and somebody will come eventually.

When I need help with my pool, I will be the first to ask you. Help being pushed upon me without my asking isn't help, you are butting in uninvited. I'm working on it, but I'm not often nice about this.

I don't know how deep my pool is. No one has reached bottom yet.

There are lot's of things we can do in my pool. Most everyone can swim, but some of you just like to be there and not do anything. That's cool.

Some people want to be the only person in my pool. It makes me very sad that they feel they have to leave when someone else comes in, but they will be welcome back when they know they can share. There are some people who I cry about because they may never learn this and I won't see them again. It sure was nice when they were here……

Sometimes it's really hot and I swim naked. I like playing then too, with as many as care to do so. As long as you are clean, I don't care too much what you look like or what you wear. If everyone is having fun and nobody is getting hurt, whether it's volleyball or playing catch; it's all good. Just don't get mad because I play on both teams. Sometimes we need special equipment. Sometimes I can just referee or take pictures!

I'd like to find somebody who can live with all of the above and still want to stay in my pool and get pruney with me. I'll do my best to adore you.

Every pool has them. I wish I didn't need any.

1. Don't lie. Ever. Lying by omission is still lying.
2. It's perfectly okay if you play in other's pools, I will. Just stay clean. See #1.
3. If you are married and want to play alone in my pool with me, please tell me you are married; I will want to SEE you both before we do. No notes from mommy. See #1.
4. Be nice, don't be mean or nasty and pee in my pool. I know accidents happen though. The third time is no accident.
5. Please respect my pool and all the 'things' around it. I worked hard for them and I like to keep them nice.
6. Don't try to change my pool. Kindly put suggestions or insights are always appreciated though.
7. Don't try to own my pool. It's being open is part of it's beauty. If you can appreciate that, it will always be open to you.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

The night I saw sound.

Some of us on FB were speaking about lightning bugs, and it made me think of something else pretty wondrous I've seen I thought I'd share.

I've deduced that the conditions required for this are pretty rare, related to things like the time of year, time of day, the lack of a moon, and thermal gradients in the ocean. I only saw it once, and in 20 years I never heard of another sonar person relating this either.

One night underway in the Indian Ocean as lead sonar technician on watch, I was conducting testing and maintenance on our very high powered sonar. We were actively pinging at full blast into the water and there's something in the order of 300 kilowatts of sound energy being pumped out with every series of pings. These are sent out first as three sequential directed pings of 30 degrees each, left center and right to cover 90 degrees. These are followed by a single 360 degree ping.

At some point I was called to the bridge by the OOD (Officer of the Deck). Once I reported to him, he asked me to look out in front of the ship and tell him what I made of what was going on. It took a few moments for my eyes to finish acclimating to the utterly black night, but I'll never forget what I saw.

Out in the water, like Neptune himself with a huge flashlight; our sonar pings were lighting up the ocean! 3 bright sequential flashes, blue-greenish and perfectly in synch with our pings, each lighting up the water in beams; followed by one dimmer 360 degree flash in synch with the last ping. While I was astounded, I immediately and almost nonchalantly deduced the cause and relayed same to the OOD; can you guess what it was?

After talking to the OOD, I went down to the sonar shack and directed the maintenance team to take a break and meet me on the ships bow, leaving the sonar engaged. Although they are typically our nemesis on a ship, I had friends in engineering so I also called down to the plant and let them know they needed to come see this. Each department's watch team took turns to allow the operators a turn on deck, though I don't think everyone got a chance to see before the phenomenon ended.

Some of us tried to take pictures, but cameras failed to capture it at all. Apparently meant to only be kept in our minds, I think Goddess was trying to show us the wonders she could let us share with our technology were no match for her own.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

The Ballad of Trannie Chicken

Why can't you just be
The rooster we deem?
Oh what will you do, what can you be?
None knows the hen that you are
'Cuz even with eyes, nobody see's

From a dusty little coop
In the sands of the Mohave
Came a chicken with a heart
And a comb you could see
Still this hen she called herself Marie


Her hatching a mystery, comb heavy to bear
This pullet's heart had told her
A rooster wasn't what she'd be
Then from the miracle of the internet
She heard of chicken GID!


This hen had found online
Pure chicken friends to be
Then she got the scoop
And flew the coop to Tucson
For a conference called IFGE


Lori, Tiana, Nichole and Marie
We laughed and we cried
Each for ourselves, and for the three
Forged a friendship to last
We all know now as the chickens-T


The roosters are gone
For these chickens and me
Our true selves as hens
Is all most anyone sees
I'm proud of them all, and they of me
Though flung far and wide
True T-chicken friends we'll always be.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Scoobie doobie

A woman decides she wants larger breasts, so she goes to see her physician, Doctor Paul.

He tells her, "Every morning when you are in the shower, massage your breasts and say "Scoobie, doobie, doobies; I want bigger boobies!"

She doesn't really believe this will work but she religiously follows his advice, and sure enough, in a few months she has a beautiful pair of 'D' cups!

One day, she's late for work and skips her shower to catch the bus. On the bus, she realizes she's missed her morning ritual! Not wanting anything to happen to her lovely chest, standing right there on the bus she says out loud to herself, "Scoobie, doobie, doobies; I want bigger boobies!"

A man sitting close by hears her and asks, "I couldn't help overhearing you, are you perhaps a patient of Dr. Pauls"?

She says, "Why yes I am, how did you know"?

With a knowing wink he replies, "Hickory, dickory, dock...."