About Me

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It's not. About me, I mean. Really!
I avoid labels when possible, but here goes: SWF, 40'ish, 20 year Navy veteran. I have an inner ham and her name is Ms. Piggy.

Friday, December 23, 2005


I was with a couple who are probably my closest freinds in town last night, and I could not have asked for better support from these dear freinds. I feel like a fool sometimes for worrying, so many of my fears about what people would say have been unfounded. I went home last night floating, much better outlook on things today!
Marie Coogan needs a middle name, the lottery continues! In what is a long story, I want something that starts with 'J' (I could then go by MJ, like Spiderman's girlfreind, like I said, long story). My freinds called this morning to suggest Isabella! I do like the mediterranean sound of it! That is when I thought of Janine. The only other that has sounded good so far was Joy. Janine is at the top of the list so far!
I'll be travelling to Tucson area tomorrow to visit with Kimberly and Michael. Yet another weekend as myself without worrying about it! Woo-Hoo!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005


Spent a nice evening with some of my few close freinds here, trying to find a good time to come out to them. Couldn't bear to impose on their holiday so I let it go. It's like admitting a lie, and I hate liars. So Im still lying to them. Got another chance with other freinds tomorrow. Am I being selfish getting my heart out in the midst of their enjoying the holiday? Forcing them to deal with this too? Arrrgh!

Tuesday, December 20, 2005


My energy’s spent at last
And my armor is destroyed
I have used up all my weapons and I’m helpless and bereaved
Wounds are all I’m made of
Did I hear you say that this is victory?

We kick and scratch and claw to naught but a jack-a-nape toy.
Damn the darkness, I'll not slip quietly to gray autumn.
A summit, gilded through haze, taunts me nonetheless.
E'er the veils do press before me, e'er will I hack them away.
Sword slivers in my hand, breastplate cruel to my flesh; cast them away.
But a blazing heart to crest the mount, cherished affectations paper-thin.
Stand at the climax and shout to the ether, dare you cast me as chaff to the wind!
Fates howling at tempest, trembling and steadfast I am lashed.

Chaos ebbs to dawn, blackness fades to light.
Enveloped in tranquil stillness, husks litter my feet.
At the nadir, many tiny eyes, like lasers aspire to the summit. Seeming unbidden from my breast, a gilded light pours forth.
The tiny eyes shine with purpose, and gazing back, the summit shines anew.
And I descend the other side, summits ahead in my gaze.